4:44

dishes

“I am guiding you in the way of wisdom,
    and I am leading you on the right path.
12 Nothing will hold you back;
    you will not be overwhelmed.
13 Always remember what you have been taught,
    and don’t let go of it.
Keep all that you have learned;
    it is the most important thing in life.”

-Proverbs 4:11-13

The other morning I was pushed out of bed by my sweet Jacob, I assumed it was time to rise, so I went downstairs to start my day. When I got to the kitchen I saw that it was 4:44!!!

“This is too early “- I said… I need more sleep… But then I thought, maybe I need this extra time awake…

That is when I started to feel you papa, pulling me into my day, into your flow and into your presence. I had dishes to do from the night before, laundry to wash and toys to put away – but you where there with me. After I finished transforming the chaos of my home back to peace, I then sat down to be with you. I was tired, but willing to hear what you had to share – and this is what I heard.

” I am the planner of your days, trust that I will give you all that you need to accomplish my plan for the day. All the energy, all the peace, all the focus, ALL that you need- lean on me so that I may work through you.”

Papa, this is the lesson you keep teaching me – surrender. You keep showing me that the more I allow you and trust you, the more you can do in me and through me. My spirit knows this to be true but often my mind and body like to tell me a different story.

So for today papa, in this moment I surrender. I trust your ever unfolding plan and destiny for me – I am here, just breathing and believing that I have access to all that I need for whatever shows up in my day…

I am doing lots of deep breathing papa…. So, please stay close!

Love your daughter, xo

I AM Always Teaching

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“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.”

-Psalm 32:8

Papa, today  as I cleaned, yet another mess that my children had made, I was annoyed and tired – then I heard you speak…

“I am always teaching, but you are not always learning. Pay attention to me.”

You knew I was disgruntle, caught up in my own head, feeling sorry for myself and focused on works of the flesh. I had lost sight of your eyes and my vision had become focused on myself and the messes. But the sound of your voice brought me back; I caught your eye and my vision became clear again. You reminded me papa, that every moment and every breathe is a gift. In every breathe there is an opportunity to release the weight of the past and to allow new life to flow in. So for now, I will breathe deep, staying present with you and open to receive your instructions.

Back to my studies…I want to get this lesson this time around!

Love you papa, x0

This Is The Day

victory

“This is the day that the Lord has made;
    let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

-Psalm 118:24

As my feet hit the floor this morning, I heard your voice – “This is the day I have made for you.” Oh papa, your joy awoke me this morning, I felt your zeal and your passion filling me full- It is still early in the morning, but I am so enthused for this day – THE DAY, that you have made me for ME!

Papa, some days are long, some days are hard, and some days are beautiful, but all are created by you. I have learned to see the purpose in the hard days, for they give value to days like today; Without my battles, I would not experience the sweetness of victory. Papa, you know how hard  I have been battling – fighting for my freedom from the chains and curses of the past. I have been strong, but hopeful for a day to rest and rejoice.  Today, in your perfect timing, you have given me a day to rejoice and celebrate this victory.

Thank you papa, so grateful for all that you have, are and will do in me and through my life. Today I will declare your goodness and praise your wonderfulness, I will sing for all to hear –

“This is the day, this is the day.
That the Lord has made, that the Lord has made.
We will rejoice, we will rejoice,
And be glad in it, and be glad in it.”

Thank you papa for loving me so perfectly,

Your daughter- Xo

Restored

set-free

“For I will restore health to you, and your wounds I will heal, declares the Lord, because they have called you an outcast: ‘It is Zion, for whom no one cares!”

-Jeremiah 30:17

“Your crazy”

“Your so dramatic”

“What’s wrong with you?”

Papa, for most of my life here on earth, I have been falsely labeled. You know this… You know also, that I began to believe those lies and fell into darkness. It was scary papa, I was lonely, I felt helpless, victim to my past and afraid of what my future would be. I was tormented by the words of others, I was haunted by the demons of my past, and I had cut myself off from you.

Oh how lost I was…

But papa, I no longer sorrow for myself, because I know you will use all my story to reveal your faithfulness. Papa when I came back to you, broken and empty, you showed me I was not beyond repair. You have walked me through restoration and you continue to re-new my mind, body and spirit. You have cleared me of those false labels and you have adorned me with a crown of truth. Those words no longer have power over me, for I know now, who you have created me to be.

“Your daughter”

 “Seeker and speaker of truth”

“Healer”

“Chain breaker”

I know my truth, I will speak my truth and I will live my truth in honor of all you have given me papa.

Love you – your daughter x0

Break Every Chain

chain

“He replied, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.”

-Luke 17:6

Papa, I feel you calling me to come in closer… I feel like you are cracking me open to both chip away my past and to shed light on my future; but papa, be gentle with me, I still feel so fragile. My past still feels so raw at times, I still feel the weight of shame, fear, and pain in my waking life. Papa, I keep trusting, I keep arising with hope that today is a new day full of new beginnings and I end all my days with faith that as I sleep you will heal me and restore me; I have faith papa, but I still see so much chaos, and feel the discomfort.

Papa, I sought after your presence today, I was desperate for you peace, clarity and enthusiasm ;I feel you now, and I heard you speak – “break every chain”. YES, Papa, I trust that you are breaking all the chains of shame that I have burdedned, papa, cut all the cords of fear that try to strangle me, heal the wounds, heal the brokenness, heal me and make me whole. Transform me papa, heal me from the inside out, let me be a living miracle and a walking testimony declaring your grace and glory.

Papa, above all else, free me from any dis-belief. Set me free Papa, break every chain, help me to see that you have given me the power to move mountains,  if only I truly believe.

I love you papa, grateful to be your miracle daughter! X0