“I surrender all,
I surrender all.
All to Thee, my blessed Savior,
I surrender all.”
-The United Methodist Hymnal Number 354
Papa, I was singing this song in church the other day, and it felt empty to me… I heard the power in the words, I could taste freedom as they crossed my lips, BUT I also felt resistance….
As I searched my heart and my soul, I saw parts of me that have allowed you in – those places that are bright, light, and full of hope. Yet, there are still parts of me that are hidden, still in the dark, being held captive by fear and my past.
Papa, I know you HEAL! You have already healed so much of my heart and mind. I give you credit for where I am now, BUT…. I still sometimes have doubt….
I want to surrender ALL of myself to you… I want to give you my ALL, I want to be ALL which you have designed me to BE… I want to papa… I really DO!!!
So for today, papa, I will get back to “cleaning out my closet” – Clearing and purging the shame, pain, fear, guilt, anger and all other sins. I know this light is healing, and in surrender is freedom and a peace that surpasses all understanding.
I know this to be true – I will keep singing this song until every part of my mind, body and soul declare – I SURRENDER ALL!!!
I love you papa,
Your daughter x0x