“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world.”
As I am on cusp of giving birth to my third baby I have been thinking a lot about THE PAIN. I have given birth twice now, and each birth was different. My first birth I was induced, and went the pitoccin/epidural route. However, I went a couple hours before getting an epidural (till 7 cm) and when I finally got it, it only took to half my body. SO, in my mind, the epidural was NOT ideal, not what I wanted and left a bad taste in my mouth… So with my second birth I was determined to have a natural labor – both in the sense of not being induced and not receiving an epidural.
Second time around, I got what I wanted. I went into labor on my own, labored for about 17 hours and managed with out any medication. Although I managed to cope very well for 16 hours, the last hour of transitioning and pushing were TERRIFYING. I was not prepared, nor was the doctor and for a few moments it was very intense. But, non-the -less I gave birth safely to a healthy child!
So here I am… Staring into the future, waiting for the arrival of my third, and Im anticipating the pain. Wondering…. Do I really want to do this without medication again? or Do I really want to risk having and negative effect from an epidural again??? AH!!!
As I wondered this in the shower – my favorite place to think and process – my thoughts took a turn. And I started to think about how I deal with pain in general. See I’m not one who likes to avoid pain. If I am feeling uncomfortable, my first instinct is to find a way to fix it or heal ; whether it be, physically, emotionally, or spiritually. I have learned from years of avoiding pain and suppressing – that pain doesn’t go away, it may get quiet, and you may not notice it as much – but it usually, as in always, needs to be addressed.
Which then brought me back to my debate… Knowing who I AM, someone who want’s to feel the pain the heal it – I ask myself, WHY would I approcah birth differently?? It would make sense that I would want to GO THRU IT… feeling the feels, riding the surges, and embracing the process of birthing life into this world. As scary as that sounds, it also sounds EMPOWERING. It sounds HARD, but WORTH IT. It sounds terribly PAINFUL but also wonderfully TRANSFORMATIVE.
I do believe I know what I want to do… I want to embrace this process, pain and all- I want to walk through this journey eyes wide open , So I can FINALLY receive my blessing!!! I know it will be hard – it is always hard facing pain. Its not meant to be easy. But pain is temporary, it will not last forever, even if it feels like it will. And I will remind myself of that, when I am in the midst of the storm, as my body surges again and again and again… this to shall pass. Joy is on the horizon and I will feel peace again in my body.
I know I’m speaking of labor, but this rings true for all pain I believe. Often we are so quick to medicate the pain, suppress it or avoid it – all because we think we can’t handle it. It sounds easier to avoid it…
But what if by accepting the pain and walking thru the pain, you find yourself stronger? What if, feeling the pain is what leads you back to knowing true JOY and PEACE again? What if embracing the journey of “birthing the new” you learn the value of LETTING GO and SURRENDERING to what is meant to BE?
What if??? Just for today, we re-imagine the purpose of pain… What if we see pain not as punishment or something meant to break us – BUT, instead, we see pain as TRANSFORMATIONAL, something meant to build us and GROW us?
I am going to embrace the mindset that, “PAIN IS TRANSFORMATIONAL”. As I walk towards my birth, I know that with the birth of a child, is also the birth of a new mother. And, As the season of pregnancy comes to an end, The next season of healing and growth is about to begin… So for today, pain will NOT be the enemy – pain will be my straight forward girlfriend, staring me in the eyes saying – this is the moment you have been waiting for ! This is your time to show up, give your best and embrace the beauty and mess! You can do this, you were made to do this – trust the process. lean into the pain and let your body do the rest!!!!
I will close by saying this, I am trusting the birth process – I don’t know what the future holds, but I have hope it is FULL of blessings. If you are also on the cusp of BIRTHING THE NEW, I want to encourage you my BLOOM friends – REMEMBER, YOU WERE MADE FOR THIS! YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS! FIND A SUPPORT PARTNER, EMBRACE THE PAIN, WALK THROUGH IT AND RECEIVE YOUR BLESSING ON THE OTHER SIDE!!!!
Much Love, Sarah ❤